And the winner is.....

In my first year of university (2000-2001), my weekly essay deadline was 9am on Friday mornings. Which meant that Thursday night was 'Essay Panic Night'. Earlier each week, I would have done the required reading, and most weeks, I'd settle down to start writing on that week's topic at about 5pm on Thursday. At about 11pm, I'd be making good progress, but instead of sticking with it and finishing the essay, I'd go to the Phoenix Cinema and see a late-night cult film. I'd get back to college at about 1am, and carry on writing, normally completing the essay at about 5am, in time to catch 3 hours of sleep before my essay was due.

Why do I mention this here, now? I suppose it highlights one of my character traits. I'm good at starting tasks, less so at finishing them. And so it was with this countdown. Having successfully written about 99 of my favourite 100 songs of the Noughties in the last six months of 2009, I then failed to write about my overall #1 song of the decade. Despite adding it to numerous to-do lists; despite being quizzed about it frequently by friends; despite the comments of many strangers who had read the countdown and were intrigued to know about the top of the list, I never got around to completing it. Perhaps I lacked inspiration to write about it, or perhaps there was always something else more "important" on those many to-do lists.

Here we are then, a year later, and still, no #1. I decided recently that I had to rectify this, and knowing myself as well as I do, I set myself a simple rule. I would not write about my favourite singles, albums, gigs, films or TV shows from 2010 until I had written up my #1 song of the previous 10 years.

And it seems to have worked. Ladies and gentlemen.... may I present to you, my #1 Noughties Hit.

"I'm addicted to you, don't you know that you're toxic"

I wrote about Britney's tumultuous decade when I placed 'Break The Ice' at number 46 in my countdown. But for all the highs and lows, there is no doubt in my mind that Britney Spears' decade will be remembered for this. Her finest hour, her piece de resistance, her magnum opus. 'Toxic' was both a critical and commercial hit. Journalists praised its insanely catchy tune and admired the Britster's sultry, breathy vocal performance. The public loved it, worldwide, sending it Top 5 in multiple countries and achieving a #1 for Britney in the UK, Australia, Canada, Norway and Hungary. In her home country, the song was her biggest hit of the decade, giving her a gold disc for over half a million sales. It also won Britney her first Grammy, at the 2005 awards, for Best Dance Recording.

With Cathy Dennis on songwriting duties, alongside Bloodshy and Avant's production, Britney had herself a global crossover hit, although it was (famously) intended for Kylie Minogue. The pint-sized Aussie's loss was Britney's gain though. You'd certainly categorise it as a pop song, but thanks to Bollywood-style strings, warped synths, and a deliriously danceable tempo, it achieved broad appeal - a success on both the radio and the dancefloor. Even the indie kids (mostly) loved it. The video wasn't half bad either, which certainly assisted with the song's popularity.

It's taken me a long time to get here, but hopefully I've finally filled in the blanks, answered your questions and explained why I consider 'Toxic' to be the greatest song from the period 2000-2009. And now, I can get on with writing about my favourites of 2010. Hurrah!

5: The Killers - Mr Brightside

Xfm, the radio station I listened to more than any other over the past 10 years, named 'Mr. Brightside' their Song of the Decade. So did Absolute Radio. I haven't gone quite that far, but #5 in my countdown is still a respectable showing for a much-loved indie anthem. If you needed further proof of the song's popularity, consider this - the song, first released in June 2004, has just re-entered the UK Top 100, and has now spent a total of 71 weeks inside the singles chart (including 14 re-entries).

Brandon Flowers, the Mormon frontman of The Killers is a true showman. The way he moves about a stage, the way he delivers his lines, the costumes, videos and elaborate set designs, Flowers clearly believes in the value of a performance. Which is to be expected, from someone who hails from Las Vegas.

I first saw them at Glastonbury 2004, in the New Bands Tent. They drew the biggest crowd of the weekend, and I described them (in my festival review) as "the HOTTEST band around, unquestionably the biggest new band in the world." At Glastonbury 2005, I saw them again, this time on the Pyramid Stage ahead of the Friday night headliners, The White Stripes. And I mentioned that they "should have been replacing Kylie" (who had pulled out due to her breast cancer), but that they "preferred their existing slot - it virtually guarantees that they'll be headliners in 2007". And then, I saw them again at Glastonbury 2007, and surprise, surprise, they headlined the Pyramid on the Saturday night. This time, I noted that there was "no-one in the crowd who didn't know every word to every song, and at the end of a long day, when you're tired and muddy and damp, what better to cheer the spirits than a big singalong."

If you're sensing a trend here, you'd be right. For me, The Killers are a festival band, and 'Mr. Brightside' is a festival song. It's full of pomp, well-enunciated lyrics (i.e. easy to remember the words and sing along) and, when viewed from the perspective of 100,000 people, it's an exhilerating experience. I'm sure I'm not the only one who can place the exact moments at which the collective enjoyment reaches its peaks - the "... chest, now, he takes off her dress, now" lyric, the first chorus, "it was only a kiss, it was ONLY a kiss", the keyboard bridge into the "I neeeeevvvvvveeeeeeerrrrrr" outro. Best enjoyed live, no doubt, but if you're interested, here's what the video for the single looks like.

100 - 11

In true chart fashion, as we enter the top 10, let's just refresh our memories of the previous 90 songs in my countdown. Click on the link for an individual entry. Also, you can listen to a Spotify playlist featuring the songs in my countdown here.

100 The Streets – Blinded By The Lights
99 The Libertines – Time For Heroes
98 Ian Brown – Fear
97 Infernal - From Paris To Berlin
96 White Lies - Death
95 Sweet Female Attitude - Flowers
94 Doves – Pounding
93 Franz Ferdinand – Take Me Out
92 Placebo - Meds
91 Foo Fighters - Best Of You
90 Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Zero
89 Panic at the Disco - Nine In The Afternoon
88 Maximo Park - Going Missing
87 Girls Aloud - Call The Shots
86 Prodigy - Omen
85 The White Stripes – Seven Nation Army
84 The Automatic - Monster
83 Modest Mouse - Dashboard
82 Gangstarr - Battle
81 Wheatus – Teenage Dirtbag
80 Outkast – Ms Jackson
79 Darude - Sandstorm
78 Green Day - American Idiot
77 Panjabi Mc – Mundian To Bach Ke
76 Good Charlotte - Keep Your Hands Off My Girl
75 MGMT - Kids
74 Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Maps
73 Nelly Furtado - Maneater
72 Fischerspooner – Emerge
71 Andrew W.K. – Party Hard
70 Santigold - L.E.S. Artistes
69 Dizzee Rascal - Holiday
68 Gorillaz - Feel Good Inc.
67 Lostprophets - Shinobi Vs. Dragon Ninja
66 Destiny’s Child – Bootylicious
65 Radiohead - Idioteque
64 Pussycat Dolls - Buttons
63 Ash - Burn Baby Burn
62 Cypress Hill - (Rock) Superstar
61 Electric Six – Danger! High Voltage
60 Muse - Knights Of Cydonia
59 Jimmy Eat World – The Middle
58 Sonique - It Feels So Good
57 We Are Scientists - Nobody Move, Nobody Get Hurt
56 Kaiser Chiefs – I Predict A Riot
55 Outkast – Hey Ya!
54 Sugababes - Push The Button
53 Eminem & Dre - Forgot About Dre
52 Mystery Jets featuring Laura Marling - Young Love
51 R Kelly - Ignition (Remix)
50 Ladyhawke - My Delerium
49 So Solid Crew – 21 Seconds
48 Arctic Monkeys - Leave Before The Lights Come On
47 Queens Of The Stone Age – Go With The Flow
46 Britney Spears - Break The Ice
45 Hot Chip - Hold On
44 Prodigy - Warrior's Dance
43 All Saints - Pure Shores
42 Royksopp & Robyn - The Girl & The Robot
41 Biffy Clyro - Saturday Superhouse
40 White Stripes - My Doorbell
39 Operator Please - Leave It Alone
38 Eminem - Lose yourself
37 Arctic Monkeys - 505
36 M83 - Don't Save Us From The Flames
35 Hard-Fi - Living For The Weekend
34 The White Stripes – Fell In Love With A Girl
33 Daft Punk - One More Time
32 Linkin Park – In The End
31 Kelis – Milkshake
30 Dizzee Rascal - Fix Up, Look Sharp
29 Rage Against The Machine – Sleep Now In The Fire
28 Incubus - Megalomaniac
27 Bloc Party - Banquet
26 Kings of Leon - Sex On Fire
25 The Coral – Dreaming Of You
24 Roots Manuva – Witness (One Hope)
23 Mis-Teeq - Scandalous
22 Interpol – Evil
21 La Roux - In For The Kill
20 Sigur Ros - Hoppipolla
19 Muse – Plug In Baby
18 Noah & The Whale - 5 Years Time
17 Queens Of The Stone Age - Little Sister
16 Hot Chip - Over & Over
15 Jay-Z – 99 Problems
14 Missy Elliott – Get Ur Freak On
13 The Hives – Hate To Say I Told You So
12 Kylie Minogue – Can’t Get You Out Of My Head
11 Jordin Sparks - Battlefield

15: Jay-Z - 99 Problems

Back when I was a teenager, I used to learn lyrics to my favourite songs. I considered it a sign of just how "with it" I was that I could recite all the words to The Offspring's 'Self Esteem' or any number of Nirvana songs. In time, I stopped intentionally learning lyrics, but the way my brain works, I still have a good recall for lyrics, especially those I've heard often.

I can recite all the words to '99 Problems'. I don't think this is cool. Far from it. I never planned to learn the lyrics. But I listened to 'Collision Course' (the Jay Z/Linkin Park live remix show) and subsequently the original of 'The Black Album' so many times that I can recite them down pat. Not cool that I know them by heart then, but overall, these are still brilliantly written lyrics. I particularly like the second verse as Jigga details one of his "problems" - in this case, being pulled over by the police for being a black man driving a nice car. The dialogue between Jay Z and the bigoted policeman (also voiced by Jay Z) is like something out of 'The Wire'. Jay Z isn't just rapping to a tune, he's telling a beautifully descriptive story. I love the use of the slightly respectful, slightly mocking "sir" by Jay Z, and the ridiculous generalisation made by the cop:
"Son, do you know why I'm stopping you for?"
"Cause I'm young and I'm black and my hat's real low? Do I look like a mindreader, sir? I don't know. Am I under arrest, or should I guess some more?"
"You were doing fifty-five in the fifty-four. License and registration and step out of the car. Are you carrying a weapon on you? I know a lot of you are."



Perhaps the mainstream appeal of Jay Z, Kanye and their ilk is that they don't exhibit the same levels of misogyny and violence as some of their equally talented (but less restrained) peers. Sure, Jay Z still uses the word 'bitch' here a bit too often for my liking, but this is not a song about women being "bitches", it's a song about black men getting a raw deal in 21st Century America.

A mention for the legendary Rick Rubin here too. After beginning the decade producing the likes of Rage Against The Machine, Slipknot, System Of A Down, Linkin Park and Limp Bizkit, his work on '99 Problems' was wholly unexpected and rather spectacular. Trademark guitar riff, big beat, #12 in the charts, easy-peasy.

28: Incubus - Megalomaniac

A second consecutive protest song, and the second song in my countdown directly inspired by George 'Dubya'.

For a brief while, it appeared that Incubus were on course to become one of the world's biggest bands. The 2001 single 'Drive' won Billboard's Modern Rock Song of the Year and went to #9 in the US charts. Their fifth studio album, 'A Crow Left Of The Murder' (the record on which 'Megalomaniac' was the opening track) sold 2 million copies after its release in early 2004. Three successive albums ('Morning View', 'A Crow...' and 2006's 'Light Grenades' reached the top two of the album charts Stateside.

But for all this success, Incubus were, frankly, never very good. I've always thought of them as the Maroon 5 of the emo world. Tacky lyrics and made-for-radio cheesy riffs didn't exactly set them apart as innovators.

It was their anger towards Bush that inspired their one fine moment. Much of their work was vitriolic, but 'Megalomaniac' had a readily identifiable target for that anger. "Hey megalomaniac, you're no Jesus, you're no f**king Elvis" sent a clear message that Average Joe no longer trusted the man with executive responsibility. These rock stars were voicing a widespread sentiment about the man who had failed to prevent 9/11 and who had taken the US into unpopular wars in Afghanistan and Iraq.



But as I've mentioned, Incubus were never very good, and 'Megalomaniac' was the beginning of the end. It was their highest charting single in the UK, but they've never made the Top 40 over here since. Their greatest hits album was released this year, and didn't even reach the Top 100, which, in these days where a few thousand album sales guarantees you a Top 10 hit, suggests that their record company will be parting company with them shortly.

That said, if this song is their sole legacy, then it's a pretty decent legacy to leave.

31: Kelis - Milkshake

I still have no idea what Kelis was on about when she sang "my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard". Was she talking about real milkshakes, or is it a metaphor? All I know is that this incredible earworm of a song (and particularly her "la laa, la la la, I want it all" chorus) stuck in my head and never left.

56: Kaiser Chiefs - I Predict A Riot

Despite it being this decade's equivalent of 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' or 'Jump Around' (massively overplayed on radio, churned out by DJs at pop club nights to appease the rock fans dragged along by their friends), and despite the Kaiser Chiefs being this decade's Oasis (lad-rock, shouty, repetitive lyrics, lots of 'na-na-na' vocals), somehow, 'I Predict A Riot' still retains a certain charm. That's probably largely down to the Yorkshire-isms of the song. The second line of the song uses the word "thee", whilst revered civil engineer, John Smeaton gets name-checked.

The Leeds band released their debut album, 'Employment' in March 2005, and it went to #2 in the UK albums chart, and five times platinum, selling over 1.5million copies, no doubt helped by the presence on the album of 'I Predict A Riot'. Actually, the song performed surprisingly poorly in the charts four months earlier, when it was released, failing to even crack the Top 20.



The lyrics detail a disorderly night out in their home town, and as such, provide a direct link with their Yorkshire peers, the Arctic Monkeys. But where the Sheffield lads paint a grim picture of urban life, the 'Chiefs' seem to revel in the bad behaviour of the ASBO generation. "I predict a riot and I want to join in" seems to be the message of the song. For rebellious teenagers, this was the UK's answer to America's burgeoning emo scene; for balding mid-lifers, it was a chance to relive past glories. Its universal appeal is unquestioned.

78: Green Day - American Idiot

I've been away for a little. Maybe you noticed? Maybe not. I was at Reading Festival, watching several of the acts who appear in this countdown. Anyway, the gist of it is that I'm now running dangerously behind schedule, so expect a flurry of postings here over the next few weeks as I try to catch up. Right, now that's out of the way, on with the show....

... and at #78, it's Green Day's ode to former US President, George 'Dubya' Bush. The opening track and first single from the concept album of the same name, the release of 'American Idiot' was accompanied by massive hype, coming, as it did, three months before the US Presidential election.

It occupies a very specific place in the chronology of Noughties music, alongside works from the likes of the Beastie Boys, Wu Tang Clan and Jay Z. It deals with issues that the entire United States was dealing with in the post 9/11 world... Billie-Joe's lyrics talk of media control, hysteria, fear, propaganda and paranoia. Built around a central, simplistic riff (like most Green Day songs), it proved to be their biggest ever UK chart hit. (In the US, it was released a week before the Billboard charts began to incorporate paid downloads, and as a result, only reached #61 in the charts.)



Best fact that I discovered whilst researching to write this post:

"In 2006 grocery clerk Paul McPike sued Green Day, alleging that he'd written "American Idiot" and the other songs on their album way back in 1992. McPike's evidence consisted entirely of a copy of the album and a claim that the lyrics sung on the album didn't match those in the sleeve notes. The US District Court Judge suggested he could file a more detailed copyright infringement complaint in the future."

93: Franz Ferdinand - Take Me Out

Not without reason was 'Take Me Out' rated as the 34th greatest track ever performed by a British artist. In late 2003, Franz Ferdinand were one of a raft of up-and-coming British indie-rock bands, whose debut single, 'Darts Of Pleasure' had spent one week at #44 before dropping out of the UK singles charts altogether. Fast-forward six months, and the follow-up single, 'Take Me Out' had hit the giddy heights of #3 in the UK charts, #7 in Canada, and #66 in the Billboard Hot 100 - no mean feat for a ramshackle bunch of Glaswegians. Better yet, the single went gold in the US by virtue of half a million sales, and the world-renowned Time magazine described them as "a band you wish you hated".

And the single at the centre of this stratospheric rise? Well, it's one of the most recognisable guitar riffs of the decade. A frantic intro gives way to that slow pounding drum beat, before the guitar kicks in. Go on, sing it to yourself, it's easy. "Nur nur na-na nur-nur-nur." That riff was EVERYWHERE in the summer of '04. And the lyrics were as easy to sing along to as anything the Kaiser Chiefs could produce. "I say you don't know, you say you don't go, I say.... TAKE ME OUT".

I'd like to direct you to the brilliant Pythonesque video, directed by Swede, Jonas Odell.



From my research, I'd say Franz actually put more thought into the video than the single itself. But no matter. It's a timeless piece of Brit-pop-rock, that still gets used to soundtrack computer games and sports highlights montages 6 years later, and that's a testament to the song's sheer brilliant simplicity.

100: The Streets - Blinded By The Lights

Kicking off my countdown is everyone's favourite Mike Skinner song. 'Blinded By The Lights' was the third single off The Streets' second album, 'A Grand Don't Come For Free', and reached #10 in the UK singles chart in October 2004.

'Blinded By The Lights' tells the story of a night of drug-fuelled clubbing, as Skinner, embarking on a relationship with Simone (which is the central story of this critically-acclaimed concept album) arranges to meet her at a club, but gets "off his face" (to use modern parlance) and ends up not caring that she's decided to snog his best friend, Dan, instead of him.

Whilst the drug-taking may not be familiar to all of us, other ideas in the lyrics certainly reverberate with our own experiences of nights out on the town - body searches by over-eager bouncers, poor mobile phone reception requiring frequent trips to the entrance just to get a signal, people pushing and shoving, huge queues for the toilets, and waiting what feels like an age to get served at the bar. All of this is set to an insanely catchy (and frankly, quite trippy) synth loop. The female vocal on the chorus is haunting and adds to the general sense that Skinner has tried to recreate the experience of taking ecstasy in musical form.

Try and imagine this song being released in the 90s. Or the 80s. You can't. It's not possible. This may only be my #100 song of the decade, but I doubt if there will be anything else in this list which is as much of a "Noughties song" as 'Blinded By The Lights'.